The Ultimate How-To-Guide for Cunnilingus
The Ultimate How-To-Guide for Cunnilingus
Cunnilingus has the potential to be one of the most intimately orgasmic acts, but sadly, it often takes backstage to pleasuring a penis. Perhaps it’s due to the mystery that often shrouds female anatomy or to the fact that most get their guidance on how to explore this act through watching porn, where it’s more for the camera and less for the receiver.
In this blog, we’ll be breaking down cunnilingus into the finer details. We’ll also help you understand why approaching this act with sensitivity and relaxed focus is essential to supporting trust and surrender in your partner. Yes, with cunnilingus, it’s not a rush to the finish but rather a slow and steady race where you must master nuance, timing, and basic primal instinct.
We’ll also add a bit more magic to the mix by exploring cunnilingus techniques and tools—like using fingers and toys—to turn this intimate act into a passionate performance that leaves your partner begging for an encore.
The Ultimate How-To-Guide for Cunnilingus
What is Cunnilingus?
The word cunnilingus itself rolls off the tongue and naturally embodies the sensual act it aims to express. In fact, the roots of this classic word come from the Latin words for vulva, or "cunnus," and lick or “lingere.” Some refer to this act in more modern terms as going down on someone, munching out, face riding, muff diving, and lip service.
Cunnilingus can be easily summed up as the intimate art of stimulating the vulva and vagina with all the mouth can provide, no matter what name you choose to call it. This equates to licking, sucking, nibbling, and anything else that you can imagine that the mouth can offer—in pursuit of almighty pleasure!
And with that, let’s continue our journey, exploring the many ways to bring bliss to your partner, one lick, kiss, and nibble at a time, with our mouths ready and our
minds open.
What makes Cunnilingus such a popular form of female pleasure?
Cunnilingus invariably spotlights the star of the show as far as female pleasure is concerned: the almighty clitoris. Formerly seen as merely a nub that would spark a bit of pleasure when rubbed the right way, it's now recognized as the powerhouse of female sexual satisfaction, housing thousands of nerve endings—8,000–12,000 to be exact. We now know that the nub is also just the tip of an iceberg and that the clitoris has roots that wrap around the vaginal canal, just waiting to be explored.
All the more reason to fall in love with cunnilingus, because there is perhaps no sensual act that allows us the opportunity to reach each precious angle of the clitoris with precision and pleasure.
What does research say?
Research illuminates the power of cunnilingus and clitoral knowledge. One study reported that lesbians experience higher rates of orgasm at a rate of 86% compared to heterosexual women at a rate of 65%. The key to giving consistent orgasms lies in ample time for foreplay, along with giving the clitoris the kind of focused attention it deserves, and
lesbians know this.
The fact of the matter is that
too often in heterosexual relationships, there is a rush to finish. Sadly, the clitoris only gets revved up to full engorgement with about 15-20 minutes of dedicated stimulation—whether through oral sex, manual play, or other forms
of foreplay.
Cunnilingus has the potential to be one of the most intimately orgasmic acts, but sadly, it often takes backstage to pleasuring a penis. Perhaps it’s due to the mystery that often shrouds female anatomy or to the fact that most get their guidance on how to explore this act through watching porn, where it’s more for the camera and less for the receiver.
In this blog, we’ll be breaking down cunnilingus into the finer details. We’ll also help you understand why approaching this act with sensitivity and relaxed focus is essential to supporting trust and surrender in your partner. Yes, with cunnilingus, it’s not a rush to the finish but rather a slow and steady race where you must master nuance, timing, and basic primal instinct.
We’ll also add a bit more magic to the mix by exploring cunnilingus techniques and tools—like using fingers and toys—to turn this intimate act into a passionate performance that leaves your partner begging for an encore.
Where do I find
the clitoris?
So glad you asked! The glans and shaft can be found at the top of the vulva, surrounded by a soft, moveable tissue where the labia minora meet. But the bulk of the clitoris is found inside—about 90%, to be exact. Pay attention to the entire structure, including the external glans and the internal roots, which can be explored through entering inside the vagina or through many of the other erogenous zones we are going
to highlight.
Exploring Other Erogenous Zones
During Cunnilingus
When engaging in cunnilingus, the clitoris is the apex of pleasure but it’s not the only erogenous zone that deserves attention. In fact, keying into these other areas will help to feed sensations into the clitoris as well, because they are
all connected.
Labia Minora: The inner lips are highly sensitive and can respond well to gentle licking, sucking,
and nibbling.
Labia Majora: The outer lips may not be as sensitive as the inner ones, but they still deserve attention, especially with soft kisses and caresses.
Vaginal Opening: The area around the entrance of the vagina is rich in nerve endings and can be stimulated with light licking, kissing, and even gentle suction.
Perineum: This is the area between the vaginal opening and the anus. It’s often overlooked but can be very sensitive and responds well to gentle touch or licking.
Inner Thighs: These are often considered an extension of the erogenous zones and can heighten arousal when teased with soft kisses and light touches.
Mons Pubis: The fleshy area
above the vulva, which can be stimulated with light kisses and caresses, enhancing the overall sensory experience.
By exploring each of these zones with tenderness and care, you can help create a multi-sensory experience that builds anticipation and pleasure, allowing your partner to fully surrender to the moment.
Cunnilingus How-To:
The best Techniques to Enhance Stimulation
Full body sensual foreplay:
Take time to honor your
partner’s whole body. Explore areas like the breasts, nipples, neck, and inner thighs. This type
of sensual warmup helps to get
the energy flowing throughout
the body, preparing them for clitoral stimulation.
Target the clitoris indirectly:
Instead of going straight for the clitoris, target the area around it like a clock. Play with different angles of your tongue and see which one she likes best and explore soft strokes. Everything around the clitoris is also connected. For instance, try circling the tongue or teasing the tissue that covers the shaft of the clitoris, or exploring a sucking action with the clitoris directly centered.
Start slow and easy:
Too much too soon will be a turn-off and can create anxiety in your partner. It can make them feel like your goal is to make them climax, which can actually counter that effect. Instead, focus on your presence, take deep breaths, and focus on enjoying the experience.
Alternate different techniques:
Switch it up by licking, sucking, and teasing different areas of the vulva. Also, play with different types of pressure. This will also help to engage more nerve endings and get blood flowing.
Adjust pressure:
Play with soft and firm pressure, listen to your partner’s body and adjust accordingly.
Listening and pacing:
Be attentive to your partner’s cues. Listen to their breath, watch their body. If they tell you they like what you’re doing and say, “don’t stop,” with their head cocked back—then, for God’s sake, don’t stop! Stay with that rhythm and touch. This allows their body to integrate sensations and build energy, which can often lead more easily to climax.
Use your fingers:
Experiment with using your fingers to stimulate the vulva externally. Gliding the hood that covers the clitoris can be an especially effective way to stroke the shaft.
Or try soft caresses against the labia or firm pressure towards the perineum at the base of the vulva. If your partner is ready for more, you may also explore sliding your fingers gently inside to stimulate the G-spot.
Keeping Oral Sex Safe and Sexy
While cunnilingus and oral sex in general might seem like all fun and games, just like any other intimate play, it can come with its own set of risks. The exchange of bodily fluids, whether it’s saliva, semen, or vaginal fluids, can expose you to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). While oral sex is often considered lower-risk than other forms of sexual activity, it’s not without its dangers.
Protect yourself and
your partner.
Use Barrier Methods: Always use condoms or dental dams to reduce the risk of STIs during oral sex.
Get Regular STI Screenings: Both you and your partner should get tested regularly, even if there are no symptoms.
Avoid Contact with Bodily Fluids: Be cautious about exposure to semen, vaginal fluids, and any cuts or sores in the mouth.
Communicate Openly: Discuss sexual health, boundaries, and protection methods with your partner before engaging in
oral sex.
Keep it clean: Be sure to wash yourself, your hands, and any toys you plan to use. Also, be sure to clip your finger nails if you plan on venturing inward.
Not all vulvas are alike, and that’s perfectly ok!
Now that we’ve gotten health and safety out of the way, let’s also address the vibe of feeling safe and relaxed so that your partner can truly surrender to the pleasure of cunnilingus. This starts with one of the biggest barriers to letting go into the “big oh”—body
mage issues.
Let’s face it, porn often serves up a ‘cookie-cutter’ ideal for what vulvas should look like. It presents them as if they all should come out of the same mold—neatly shaped, perfectly identical, and missing the beautiful variety that makes each one unique. The fact of the matter is that vulvas come in many forms, shapes, and sizes, just like
the penis.
Creating an Atmosphere
of Comfort and Connection for Cunnilingus
Praise and more praise: compliment your partner’s body, let them know that their vulva is beautiful, be specific, and take your time adoring them.
Never ever compare to others: Avoid comparing your partner to someone you saw in porn or to the cookie cutter images we’ve
already mentioned.
Set the mood: Remove distractions, whether it’s the blaring TV, your buzzing phone, or any other potential interruptions that could pull you out of the moment. By taking the time to set the mood, you signal to your partner that this moment is special and you’re fully present and committed to
their pleasure.
Take climax off the table: Focusing on the goal of climax will just cause your partner to feel like they are under pressure to perform and end up having the opposite effect, as counterintuitive as it
might seem.
The Perfect Cunnilingus Position: Setting
the Stage for
Ultimate Pleasure
Once you’ve created a comfortable, pressure-free environment, it’s time to consider how you can physically connect in the most pleasurable way possible. Cunnilingus requires that you find a posture that is comfortable for both you and your partner. The way you position yourself can dramatically impact how effectively you can use your tongue and how your partner experiences the sensations you offer.
The right position for cunnilingus helps you and your partner relax. When both of you are in a position that feels natural and supportive, the connection between you can grow and intensify.
Best Positions for Cunnilingus: Enhance Your Pleasure
Cunnilingus position 1:
Missionary Throneww
A classic, tried-and-true position for Cunnilingus is good old-fashioned missionary style. This position will not only be comfortable for both you and your partner, but it will also allow you to access all the necessary erogenous zones. Start by having your partner lie on their back with their legs comfortably spread apart. Alternatively, you can enhance the position by placing a pillow underneath their pelvis for extra support. This slight elevation helps you align your mouth with the most sensitive parts and can also help to further relax your partner’s pelvis for increased blood flow and heightened sensations.
Cunnilingus position 2:
Sideways 69
Another great position for Cunnilingus is the side-lying position. Have your partner lie on their side or in a reclining position. This shift in angle offers new opportunities to explore the vulva with your tongue and also promotes closer body contact, enhancing the overall intimacy and connection between you and
your partner.
Cunnilingus position 3:
Bedside Bliss
Consider having your partner sit on the edge of a bed or chair while you kneel or sit between their legs for those seeking variety. This position provides excellent visibility and allows you to use your hands to support their legs, creating a more controlled and focused experience. It’s a great way to mix things up and keep the experience exciting. It also offers you an opportunity to give extra attention to other sensitive zones, like their legs and feet.
Cunnilingus position 4:
All-Fours Adventure
For a more primal and intimate experience, have your partner get on all fours while you position yourself behind them. This angle not only allows you to access their most sensitive areas from a different perspective, it also allows your partner to move freely and wildly. The cunnilingus position naturally creates an arch in the back, which can enhance the sensations. It also provides a chance for playful teasing and light touches along the inner thighs, hips, and lower back. This position is perfect for those who enjoy a mix of control and spontaneity, adding a thrilling element to your cunnilingus routine.
Enhancing Cunnilingus
with Vibrator
When it comes to cunnilingus and oral sex in general, it doesn’t have to end with only your tongue. Incorporating a vibrator can offer you leverage in facilitating arousal more quickly since vibration supports blood flow and helps in activating nerves. Below are a few tips on how you can use vibrators to help take your partner over
the edge.
What is Cunnilingus?
The word cunnilingus itself rolls off the tongue and naturally embodies the sensual act it aims to express. In fact, the roots of this classic word come from the Latin words for vulva, or "cunnus," and lick or “lingere.” Some refer to this act in more modern terms as going down on someone, munching out, face riding, muff diving, and lip service.
Cunnilingus can be easily summed up as the intimate art of stimulating the vulva and vagina with all the mouth can provide, no matter what name you choose to call it. This equates to licking, sucking, nibbling, and anything else that you can imagine that the mouth can offer—in pursuit of almighty pleasure!
And with that, let’s continue our journey, exploring the many ways to bring bliss to your partner, one lick, kiss, and nibble at a time, with our mouths ready and our minds open.
What makes Cunnilingus such a popular form of female pleasure?
Cunnilingus invariably spotlights the star of the show as far as female pleasure is concerned: the almighty clitoris. Formerly seen as merely a nub that would spark a bit of pleasure when rubbed the right way, it's now recognized as the powerhouse of female sexual satisfaction, housing thousands of nerve endings—8,000–12,000 to be exact. We now know that the nub is also just the tip of an iceberg and that the clitoris has roots that wrap around the vaginal canal, just waiting to be explored.
All the more reason to fall in love with cunnilingus, because there is perhaps no sensual act that allows us the opportunity to reach each precious angle of the clitoris with precision
and pleasure.
5 Ways to Use Vibrators to Enhance Oral Sex
with Cunnilingus
1. Best Vibrator for Enhanced Clitoral Stimulation
We’ve already discussed how effective indirect oral stimulation techniques can be for helping facilitate excitement and engorgement of the clitoris. Using a vibrator can add an extra boost to your play by directing blood flow through gentle touch. For instance, you might try using a lay-on vibrator like our Satisfyer Exciterrr, which is designed specifically for indirect stimulation. The small ball rotates within a vibrating plate, creating amazing sensations around the clitoris as you explore other areas with your mouth
and tongue.
Pros:
● Provides indirect, gentle stimulation to avoid overstimulation.
● Compact and easy to use alongside oral play.
Cons:
● May require experimentation to find the perfect angle for maximum pleasure.
● Indirect stimulation might not be intense enough for everyone.
Pro Tip: Start with the lowest vibration setting to build anticipation, then gradually increase the intensity as your partner’s arousal heightens.
2. Best Vibrator for Dipping Inside the Vagina
One of the best ways to increase excitement is to dip inside the first third of the vagina, which is the most sensitive part. Adding a vibrator here while you explore your partner orally can unlock deeper waves of pleasure. While your tongue focuses on the labia or vaginal opening, use the Satisfyer Dipping Delight to gently stimulate the clitoris. The vibrator’s soft silicone tip and curved design allow for precise targeting, adding an extra layer of sensation that enhances your partner’s pleasure.
Pros:
● Curved design targets sensitive areas with precision.
● Versatile enough to be used during both foreplay
and oral sex.
Cons:
● May require coordination to use the vibrator and perform cunnilingus simultaneously.
● Not ideal for those who prefer direct clitoral stimulation.
Pro Tip: Experiment with moving the Dipping Delight in sync
with the rhythm of your
tongue to create a powerful,
multi-sensory experience.
3. Alternate Between Tongue
and Vibrator
Switching between your tongue and a soft, delicate vibe like our Satisfyer Dew Drop can keep your partner guessing and heighten their arousal. Begin with soft, teasing kisses and gentle licks,
then introduce the Dewdrop by gently gliding it along the outer labia. As the vibrations stimulate the area, continue your oral exploration, focusing on more delicate, targeted stimulation.
Pros:
● Small and easy to maneuver for precise stimulation.
● Enhances oral play by adding subtle vibrations.
Cons:
● Limited to indirect stimulation, which might not be intense enough for all users.
● Requires frequent switching between vibrator and
oral techniques.
Pro Tip: Use the Dewdrop above the clitoris while focusing your tongue on other areas to create a tantalizing blend of sensations.
4. Elevate Cunnilingus with Pelvic Floor Vibrations
Our pelvic floor is where the magic of core strength, orgasms, and well-being converge. Adding a weighted Ben Wa ball like our Satisfyer Love Birds Vary can elevate your cunnilingus sessions to new heights. The ball will add extra stimulation without getting in the way of your oral efforts. The added weight will not just add pleasure to the G-spot but will
also add feedback to the pelvic floor muscles to help stimulate
orgasmic contractions, where all the magic happens.
Pros:
● Enhances internal sensations and promotes pelvic floor health.
● Fully customizable vibration patterns via the Satisfyer
Connect App.
Cons:
● Requires some experience with Ben Wa balls for comfortable use.
● It may take time to find the
right vibration pattern for
your partner.
Pro Tip: Use the retainer strap to add a gentle tug during oral play, intensifying the sensation of fullness and arousal.
5. Strap on a 2-in-1 Finger Vibrator for an Added Boost
The Satisfyer Perfect Pair 3 is a versatile toy that seamlessly transitions from cunnilingus to penetrative sex. As a finger vibrator, it offers precise stimulation, perfect for stroking the labia, clitoris, or perineum. When your partner’s ready, slide the Perfect Pair 3 onto your penis as a cock ring. The added constriction strengthens and prolongs your erection while the vibrations continue to provide pleasure for both partners.
Pros:
● Dual-purpose design for both finger and penetrative play.
● Enhances erections and provides continuous stimulation.
Cons:
● May require some adjustment when transitioning from finger
to cock ring use.
● Vibrations might be less intense when used as a cock ring.
Pro Tip: Start by using the Perfect Pair 3 as a finger vibrator to tease and stimulate, then switch to the cock ring mode when transitioning to penetration.
6. Add Multiple Pleasure Spots Beyond the Vulva
The Satisfyer Plug Play 1 is a versatile tool that enhances cunnilingus by adding multiple layers of stimulation. Designed
for anal play, this plug stimulates sensitive nerve endings around
the anus. As you focus on oral pleasure, insert the Plug Play 1 anally to heighten arousal. The attached straps can be positioned between the labia for added pressure, while the lay-on vibrator stimulates the clitoris.
Pros:
● Offers simultaneous anal, vulva, and clitoral stimulation.
● Long straps and layon vibrator add unique opportunity to stimulate multiple
erogenous zones.
Cons:
● Requires careful placement for maximum effectiveness.
● Might be too intense
for beginners.
Pro Tip: Sync the vibrations of the lay-on vibrator with the rhythm of your tongue for a fully immersive, multi-sensory experience.
Best Positions for Cunnilingus: Enhance Your Pleasure
Cunnilingus position 1: Missionary Throne
A classic, tried-and-true position for Cunnilingus is good old-fashioned missionary style. This position will not only be comfortable for both you and your partner, but it will also allow you to access all the necessary erogenous zones. Start by having your partner lie on their back with their legs comfortably spread apart. Alternatively, you can enhance the position by placing a pillow underneath their pelvis for extra support. This slight elevation helps you align your mouth with the most sensitive parts and can also help to further relax your partner’s pelvis for increased blood flow and heightened sensations.
Cunnilingus position 2: Sideways 69
Another great position for Cunnilingus is the side-lying position. Have your partner lie on their side or in a reclining position. This shift in angle offers new opportunities to explore the vulva with your tongue and also promotes closer body contact, enhancing the overall intimacy and connection between you and your partner.
Cunnilingus position 3: Bedside Bliss
Consider having your partner sit on the edge of a bed or chair while you kneel or sit between their legs for those seeking variety. This position provides excellent visibility and allows you to use your hands to support their legs, creating a more controlled and focused experience. It’s a great way to mix things up and keep the experience exciting. It also offers you an opportunity to give extra attention to other sensitive zones, like their legs and feet.
Cunnilingus position 4: All-Fours Adventure
For a more primal and intimate experience, have your partner get on all fours while you position yourself behind them. This angle not only allows you to access their most sensitive areas from a different perspective, it also allows your partner to move freely and wildly. The cunnilingus position naturally creates an arch in the back, which can enhance the sensations. It also provides a chance for playful teasing and light touches along the inner thighs, hips, and lower back. This position is perfect for those who enjoy a mix of control and spontaneity, adding a thrilling element to your cunnilingus routine.
Enhancing Cunnilingus with Vibrator
When it comes to cunnilingus and oral sex in general, it doesn’t have to end with only your tongue. Incorporating a vibrator can offer you leverage in facilitating arousal more quickly since vibration supports blood flow and helps in activating nerves. Below are a few tips on how you can use vibrators to help take your partner over the edge.
5 Ways to Use Vibrators to Enhance Oral Sex with Cunnilingus
1. Best Vibrator for Enhanced Clitoral Stimulation
We’ve already discussed how effective indirect oral stimulation techniques can be for helping facilitate excitement and engorgement of the clitoris. Using a vibrator can add an extra boost to your play by directing blood flow through gentle touch. For instance, you might try using a lay-on vibrator like our Satisfyer Exciterrr, which is designed specifically for indirect stimulation. The small ball rotates within a vibrating plate, creating amazing sensations around the clitoris as you explore other areas with your mouth and tongue.
Pros:
● Provides indirect, gentle stimulation to avoid overstimulation.
● Compact and easy to use alongside oral play.
Cons:
● May require experimentation to find the perfect angle for maximum pleasure.
● Indirect stimulation might not be intense enough for everyone.
Pro Tip: Start with the lowest vibration setting to build anticipation, then gradually increase the intensity as your partner’s arousal heightens.
2. Best Vibrator for Dipping Inside the Vagina
One of the best ways to increase excitement is to dip inside the first third of the vagina, which is the most sensitive part. Adding a vibrator here while you explore your partner orally can unlock deeper waves of pleasure. While your tongue focuses on the labia or vaginal opening, use the Satisfyer Dipping Delight to gently stimulate the clitoris. The vibrator’s soft silicone tip and curved design allow for precise targeting, adding an extra layer of sensation that enhances your partner’s pleasure.
Pros:
● Curved design targets sensitive areas with precision.
● Versatile enough to be used during both foreplay and oral sex.
Cons:
● May require coordination to use the vibrator and perform cunnilingus simultaneously.
● Not ideal for those who prefer direct clitoral stimulation.
Pro Tip: Experiment with moving the Dipping Delight in sync with the rhythm of your tongue to create a powerful, multi-sensory experience.
3. Alternate Between Tongue and Vibrator
Switching between your tongue and a soft, delicate vibe like our Satisfyer Dew Drop can keep your partner guessing and heighten their arousal. Begin with soft, teasing kisses and gentle licks, then introduce the Dewdrop by gently gliding it along the outer labia. As the vibrations stimulate the area, continue your oral exploration, focusing on more delicate, targeted stimulation.
Pros:
● Small and easy to maneuver for precise stimulation.
● Enhances oral play by adding subtle vibrations.
Cons:
● Limited to indirect stimulation, which might not be intense enough for all users.
● Requires frequent switching between vibrator and oral techniques.
Pro Tip: Use the Dewdrop above the clitoris while focusing your tongue on other areas to create a tantalizing blend of sensations.
4. Elevate Cunnilingus with Pelvic Floor Vibrations
Our pelvic floor is where the magic of core strength, orgasms, and well-being converge. Adding a weighted Ben Wa ball like our Satisfyer Love Birds Vary can elevate your cunnilingus sessions to new heights. The ball will add extra stimulation without getting in the way of your oral efforts. The added weight will not just add pleasure to the G-spot but will also add feedback to the pelvic floor muscles to help stimulate orgasmic contractions, where all the magic happens.
Pros:
● Enhances internal sensations and promotes pelvic floor health.
● Fully customizable vibration patterns via the Satisfyer Connect App.
Cons:
● Requires some experience with Ben Wa balls for comfortable use.
● It may take time to find the right vibration pattern for your partner.
Pro Tip: Use the retainer strap to add a gentle tug during oral play, intensifying the sensation of fullness and arousal.
5. Strap on a 2-in-1 Finger Vibrator for an Added Boost
The Satisfyer Perfect Pair 3 is a versatile toy that seamlessly transitions from cunnilingus to penetrative sex. As a finger vibrator, it offers precise stimulation, perfect for stroking the labia, clitoris, or perineum. When your partner’s ready, slide the Perfect Pair 3 onto your penis as a cock ring. The added constriction strengthens and prolongs your erection while the vibrations continue to provide pleasure for both partners.
Pros:
● Dual-purpose design for both finger and penetrative play.
● Enhances erections and provides continuous stimulation.
Cons:
● May require some adjustment when transitioning from finger to cock ring use.
● Vibrations might be less intense when used as a cock ring.
Pro Tip: Start by using the Perfect Pair 3 as a finger vibrator to tease and stimulate, then switch to the cock ring mode when transitioning
to penetration.
6. Add Multiple Pleasure Spots Beyond the Vulva
The Satisfyer Plug Play 1 is a versatile tool that enhances cunnilingus by adding multiple layers of stimulation. Designed for anal play, this plug stimulates sensitive nerve endings around the anus. As you focus on oral pleasure, insert the Plug Play 1 anally to heighten arousal. The attached straps can be positioned between the labia for added pressure, while the lay-on vibrator stimulates the clitoris.
Pros:
● Offers simultaneous anal, vulva, and clitoral stimulation.
● Long straps and layon vibrator add unique opportunity to stimulate multiple erogenous zones.
Cons:
● Requires careful placement for maximum effectiveness.
● Might be too intense for beginners.
Pro Tip: Sync the vibrations of the lay-on vibrator with the rhythm of your tongue for a fully immersive, multi-sensory experience.
What does research say?
Research illuminates the power of cunnilingus and clitoral knowledge. One study reported that lesbians experience higher rates of orgasm at a rate of 86% compared to heterosexual women at a rate of 65%. The key to giving consistent orgasms lies in ample time for foreplay, along with giving the clitoris the kind of focused attention it deserves, and lesbians know this.
The fact of the matter is that too often in heterosexual relationships, there is a rush to finish. Sadly, the clitoris only gets revved up to full engorgement with about 15-20 minutes of dedicated stimulation—whether through oral sex, manual play, or other forms of foreplay.
Where do I find the clitoris?
So glad you asked! The glans and shaft can be found at the top of the vulva, surrounded by a soft, moveable tissue where the labia minora meet. But the bulk of the clitoris is found inside—about 90%, to be exact. Pay attention to the entire structure, including the external glans and the internal roots, which can be explored through entering inside the vagina or through many of the other erogenous zones we are going to highlight.
Exploring Other Erogenous Zones During Cunnilingus
When engaging in cunnilingus, the clitoris is the apex of pleasure but it’s not the only erogenous zone that deserves attention. In fact, keying into these other areas will help to feed sensations into the clitoris as well, because they are all connected.
● Labia Minora: The inner lips are highly sensitive and can respond well to gentle licking, sucking, and nibbling.
● Labia Majora: The outer lips may not be as sensitive as the inner ones, but they still deserve attention, especially with soft kisses
and caresses.
● Vaginal Opening: The area around the entrance of the vagina is rich in nerve endings and can be stimulated with light licking, kissing, and even gentle suction.
● Perineum: This is the area between the vaginal opening and the anus. It’s often overlooked but can be very sensitive and responds well to gentle touch or licking.
● Inner Thighs: These are often considered an extension of the erogenous zones and can heighten arousal when teased with soft kisses and light touches.
● Mons Pubis: The fleshy area above the vulva, which can be stimulated with light kisses and caresses, enhancing the overall
sensory experience.
By exploring each of these zones with tenderness and care, you can help create a multi-sensory experience that builds anticipation and pleasure, allowing your partner to fully surrender to the moment.
Cunnilingus How-To: The best Techniques to Enhance Stimulation
Full body sensual foreplay:
Take time to honor your partner’s whole body. Explore areas like the breasts, nipples, neck, and inner thighs. This type of sensual warmup helps to get the energy flowing throughout the body, preparing them for clitoral stimulation.
Target the clitoris indirectly:
Instead of going straight for the clitoris, target the area around it like a clock. Play with different angles of your tongue and see which one she likes best and explore soft strokes. Everything around the clitoris is also connected. For instance, try circling the tongue or teasing the tissue that covers the shaft of the clitoris, or exploring a sucking action with the clitoris directly centered.
Start slow and easy:
Too much too soon will be a turn-off and can create anxiety in your partner. It can make them feel like your goal is to make them climax, which can actually counter that effect. Instead, focus on your presence, take deep breaths, and focus on enjoying the experience.
Alternate different techniques:
Switch it up by licking, sucking, and teasing different areas of the vulva. Also, play with different types of pressure. This will also help to engage more nerve endings and get blood flowing.
Adjust pressure:
Play with soft and firm pressure, listen to your partner’s body and adjust accordingly.
Listening and pacing:
Be attentive to your partner’s cues. Listen to their breath, watch their body. If they tell you they like what you’re doing and say, “don’t stop,” with their head cocked back—then, for God’s sake, don’t stop! Stay with that rhythm and touch. This allows their body to integrate sensations and build energy, which can often lead more easily to climax.
Use your fingers:
Experiment with using your fingers to stimulate the vulva externally. Gliding the hood that covers the clitoris can be an especially effective way to stroke the shaft. Or try soft caresses against the labia or firm pressure towards the perineum at the base of the vulva. If your partner is ready for more, you may also explore sliding your fingers gently inside to stimulate the G-spot.
Keeping Oral Sex Safe and Sexy
While cunnilingus and oral sex in general might seem like all fun and games, just like any other intimate play, it can come with its own set of risks. The exchange of bodily fluids, whether it’s saliva, semen, or vaginal fluids, can expose you to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). While oral sex is often considered lower-risk than other forms of sexual activity, it’s not without its dangers.
Protect yourself and your partner.
● Use Barrier Methods: Always use condoms or dental dams to reduce the risk of STIs during oral sex.
● Get Regular STI Screenings: Both you and your partner should get tested regularly, even if there are no symptoms.
● Avoid Contact with Bodily Fluids: Be cautious about exposure to semen, vaginal fluids, and any cuts or sores in the mouth.
● Communicate Openly: Discuss sexual health, boundaries, and protection methods with your partner before engaging in oral sex.
● Keep it clean: Be sure to wash yourself, your hands, and any toys you plan to use. Also, be sure to clip your finger nails if you plan on venturing inward.
Not all vulvas are alike, and that’s perfectly ok!
Now that we’ve gotten health and safety out of the way, let’s also address the vibe of feeling safe and relaxed so that your partner can truly surrender to the pleasure of cunnilingus. This starts with one of the biggest barriers to letting go into the “big oh”—body image issues.
Let’s face it, porn often serves up a ‘cookie-cutter’ ideal for what vulvas should look like. It presents them as if they all should come out of the same mold—neatly shaped, perfectly identical, and missing the beautiful variety that makes each one unique. The fact of the matter is that vulvas come in many forms, shapes, and sizes, just like the penis.
Creating an Atmosphere of Comfort and Connection for Cunnilingus
● Praise and more praise: compliment your partner’s body, let them know that their vulva is beautiful, be specific, and take your time adoring them.
● Never ever compare to others: Avoid comparing your partner to someone you saw in porn or to the cookie cutter images we’ve
already mentioned.
● Set the mood: Remove distractions, whether it’s the blaring TV, your buzzing phone, or any other potential interruptions that could pull you out of the moment. By taking the time to set the mood, you signal to your partner that this moment is special and you’re fully present and committed to their pleasure.
● Take climax off the table: Focusing on the goal of climax will just cause your partner to feel like they are under pressure to perform and end up having the opposite effect, as counterintuitive as it might seem.
The Perfect Cunnilingus Position: Setting the Stage for Ultimate Pleasure
Once you’ve created a comfortable, pressure-free environment, it’s time to consider how you can physically connect in the most pleasurable way possible. Cunnilingus requires that you find a posture that is comfortable for both you and your partner. The way you position yourself can dramatically impact how effectively you can use your tongue and how your partner experiences the sensations you offer.
The right position for cunnilingus helps you and your partner relax. When both of you are in a position that feels natural and supportive, the connection between you can grow and intensify.
